My special angel came into this world 55 years ago today. The Dalai Lama says that when a beautiful, good young person dies, one of the lessons we should learn is the impermanence of life.
There is something beautiful, tragic, and profoundly sad when such a beautiful human being as Sari dies suddenly, unexpectedly, at the young age of 24. She never grew old. Never married, died alone. In my eyes, Sari was an angel here on earth, and I believe with all my heart and soul, that she made the transition from this world to her heavenly home smoothly, with a minimum of trauma and fear.
I know I am crazy to still love some one who died over 30 years ago, and to write my feelings in this memorial blog. I only get around to it a couple times a year, and I am sure no one will ever read it other than me. Why I do it? I don't know, I'm nuts, I guess. Well, happy birthday, my beautiful angel. Hope I see you sometime between now and eternity.....
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
30 years today
I wanted to make an entry on Sari's birthday, December 13th. Would have been her 54th. 30 years ago today my beautiful angel left this world. In the last week and a half, in the space of less than two days, I was with people very dear to me as they passed from this life. The first was a 67 year old blues master, who was given six months to live over 4 years ago. I loved playing music with him, and I would like to flatter myself that he felt the same. But John Henry Isaac was a noble gentleman, and a class act. I held his hand and talked to him from the heart moments before he breathed his last.
Dr. William Hagerman was my patient for the past 8 years. I was with him when he died less than two days after John Henry. Dr. Bill had been in declining health for a long time, and his quality of life had flown long ago. He was pushing 84.
And 2 sad funerals, one day after the other.
There is something very different, yet similar in the passing of my Sari. There had been no decline in the quality of her life, no lingering illness eating her life away. She had always been the picture of health, vitality, and effervescence. She filled the room with her aura. She was robbed of her life as she slept by a sudden, unexpected cerebral hemorrhage. Some time in the course of February 5th, when she had not reported to her teaching job, someone went to check on her. Her body was discovered around 3 p.m.
Sari had certainly not even peaked, not yet reached anywhere close to the prime of her life. She died young, beautiful, so full of promise. If not me (alas!), she would have made some very blessed man a wonderful wife...She would have been a remarkable mother...we would have made some beautiful children together.
I know it is not "right" to think about someone as I do Sari, especially 30 years since she died. You know, don't live in the past, etc. I will be the first to admit I am a hopeless, pathetic, maudlin, sentimental fool. For some reason, Sari remains very special, very precious to me. My memories of her remain sacred.
The days, months, and years continue to roll by. We see the ones we love leave this life, reminding us that our stay here is so brief. Those who loved us long ago when we were young are growing old, and like me, falling apart. I wonder if the Sari I knew would recognize me. Hah...But my beautiful angel is forever young. I would like to think that heartache and despair were as yet fairly unknown to her. I know losing her daddy when she was 10 must have been hard. We talked about that.....
Some people you remember, some you forget. Sari left such a deep impression on my psyche and soul. My faith tells me that our souls will meet again.
Dr. William Hagerman was my patient for the past 8 years. I was with him when he died less than two days after John Henry. Dr. Bill had been in declining health for a long time, and his quality of life had flown long ago. He was pushing 84.
And 2 sad funerals, one day after the other.
There is something very different, yet similar in the passing of my Sari. There had been no decline in the quality of her life, no lingering illness eating her life away. She had always been the picture of health, vitality, and effervescence. She filled the room with her aura. She was robbed of her life as she slept by a sudden, unexpected cerebral hemorrhage. Some time in the course of February 5th, when she had not reported to her teaching job, someone went to check on her. Her body was discovered around 3 p.m.
Sari had certainly not even peaked, not yet reached anywhere close to the prime of her life. She died young, beautiful, so full of promise. If not me (alas!), she would have made some very blessed man a wonderful wife...She would have been a remarkable mother...we would have made some beautiful children together.
I know it is not "right" to think about someone as I do Sari, especially 30 years since she died. You know, don't live in the past, etc. I will be the first to admit I am a hopeless, pathetic, maudlin, sentimental fool. For some reason, Sari remains very special, very precious to me. My memories of her remain sacred.
The days, months, and years continue to roll by. We see the ones we love leave this life, reminding us that our stay here is so brief. Those who loved us long ago when we were young are growing old, and like me, falling apart. I wonder if the Sari I knew would recognize me. Hah...But my beautiful angel is forever young. I would like to think that heartache and despair were as yet fairly unknown to her. I know losing her daddy when she was 10 must have been hard. We talked about that.....
Some people you remember, some you forget. Sari left such a deep impression on my psyche and soul. My faith tells me that our souls will meet again.
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