sweet angel

Edgar Allen Poe said that the most romantic thing he could think of was the tragic death of a young woman. Thinking about Poe's life and work, one realizes that Poe was a pretty morose, depressed person. When I read this, of course it brought to mind for me my Sari. Romantic? I don't know about that, but the untimely, unexpected death of a beautiful young person does make the perception of them ageless and timeless.

To me, Sari will eternally be young, fresh, beautiful...No one on this earth ever knew her as middle aged or "old". She was and is and will always be a wise, gentle, loving soul. I believe with all my heart that our souls will again cross paths on our mutual journeys through eternity.

Festival

Well, our annual Festival International is over for another year. My 7th yr of volunteering. According to National Geographic, it is one of the 8 best festivals in the U. S.

I only bring this up because at times like Festival, when I am busy and having fun, socializing with friends and the public, often the thought comes to my mind, "I wonder if Sari would enjoy this...". Thoughts of her are involuntary, and come at times I would least expect. And I wonder what heaven is like...and I wish she could tell me...

quit smoking

I knew there was some point to me mentioning trying to quit smoking twice right before meeting Sari. After I first laid eyes on her, I never again had the desire to pursue that nasty habit. I sensed from the start that she was wholesome and without nasty habits. And I guess from the start I wanted to try to be worthy of such a fine human being. I never smoked RWH around her, and deflected the many joy sticks being passed to her at the Grateful Dead concert I took her to. More on that later.

meeting an angel

June 1973...I had just turned 24, and one evening I was with friends in an apartment house rec room, playing pool. These friends were about 5 years younger, and I knew a couple of them from their older brothers, who had been in my high school class of 1967.

I had "tried" to quit my 6 year habit of cigarette smoking twice that spring, but was still smoking. I was vaguely aware that a few people had come in, and taken stools against the wall. I was busy with making my shot, and when I did, I finally looked up to see who had come in. They were three young women who obviously knew my friends, and were their contemporaries, all of the CHS class of 1972.

One of them was a stunningly beautiful brunette, long wavy dark brown hair, classically gorgeous face, and a stunningly voluptuous body in the full bloom of young womanhood. She was wearing jeans and a blouse that could have been the one in the double exposure photo posted here.

I have always depended on my passive approach with meeting women, never one to approach them with "lines". I usually passed up the really beautiful ones, I suppose, fearing rejection. Or I assume "She is so fine, she must be taken".

But in this case, all of my personal insecurities and issues took a back seat to my desire to meet this beauty. Many adults lack social skills, and more so with teenagers. None of our mutual friends thought to introduce us, so I walked up to her and introduced myself. We shook hands, and their was electricity...magic, in her touch. I had never known anyone with the name "Sari"...had never heard the name. Her smile totally disarmed me. In spite of being blown away by her beauty, smile, and sweetness, I mustered up enough courage to ask her to go to dinner with me the next night. I figured, nothing ventured, nothing gained, and I will probably be turned down, but I had to ask. Was I flabbergasted when she accepted.

Later that evening, I began to suspect that all our mutual male friends had gone through an inevitable phase of being in love with Sari. I can't imagine any man knowing Sari without being in love with her, but I am slightly biased where Sari is concerned.

Even though I was the cool worldly experienced male, I was obsessed with how I was going to impress this beauty. I was to find that this was in vain and unnecessary, and that the young woman I had met was not impressed by bullshit. Her values were real. I had no idea of the lifelong ride my heart was about to take, for better or worse.

epitaph

I recently went west to Concord, CA, for the funeral of an old friend. Even though it is over 400 miles out of my way, I made a pilgrimage down to Los Angeles to pay my respects at Sari's final resting place. It is one of the oldest and biggest cemeteries in that city. She has a little marker, as does her daddy, who died when Sari was 11, and her mama, who survived her daughter by 7 years.

Her marker reads: Sari Anne Gacsaly
1954 - 1979
Sari possessed a constant, noble, loving nature,
Filled with grace and beauty.

To sum up a human being and their life in just 12 words...Well, her family did not have forever to consider her epitaph, and I don't know how anyone could have said it any better in 12 words.

Those words on the marker are so true, but if someone who did not know Sarie read them, they could not begin to know how true those words are.

impressions of Sari

I met Sari when she was 18. I was 24. I didn't plan on falling head over heels in love with anyone, but with Sari, what was there not to love?! She was absolutely gorgeous to behold, but there was so much more. At 18, I was blown away by her wisdom, intelligence, humility, kindness, and compassion. Her calm and grace and aura of goodness and godliness left me in awe.

I have seen and been around much death, especially in combat, and have had many occasions to witness human mortality and the impermanence of life. But no ones passing from this "veil of tears" has made me examine my mortality and status of my immortal soul, than did the passing of my beloved Sari. She was barely 24, and had so much going for her. The world truly was "her oyster".

I know as well as I can know anything that the essence of Sari survived her physical death. Her spirit is very much alive, albeit on a plane that I can not claim to really understand. Sari was the most alive, vibrant person I ever came in contact with.

She once looked in my eyes and told me we were both "old souls". Hers was as fine and noble a soul as I will ever meet in this life.

my cyber shrine for Sari

I want to dedicate a little corner of cyber space to the memory of a beautiful human being, Sari Ann Gacsaly. I will be posting the few pictures I have of her, and write my thoughts of, and feelings for Sari, as the spirit moves me.

If anyone who was blessed by knowing Sari, finds this cyber shrine, please feel free to write here and share your memories and thoughts.

Sari was a beautiful child of God, and extraordinarily beautiful woman, inside and out, and she left more of an impression on my mind, heart, and soul, than anyone else I have ever known.